April 8, 2023

The Ins and Outs of Prostate Massage

There has been a lot of talk around the sex therapy community and the general public about Prostatic Massage, also known as Prostate Massage. Most people are quite unaware of what it is and how it helps. Prostatic massage is important for physical and sexual health but many people are still uncomfortable talking about it. Straight men may feel as if it might “compromise” or somehow influence their sexual identity because of the route in which we access the prostate (through the anus), especially if prostate massage is performed for the purpose of sexual pleasure. Some people may find it dirty, as the anus is associated with feces. 

Nevertheless, it is essential to raise awareness about the prostate and decrease the stigma surrounding it to promote men's health.

What Is the Prostate?

The male reproductive system includes a small, roughly walnut-sized gland called the prostate. This gland is situated between the bladder and the penis and lies in front of the rectum. The prostate produces a fluid that nourishes and safeguards sperm. During ejaculation, the prostate contracts and releases this fluid into the urethra, where it mixes with sperm to form semen. The urethra in men is a narrow tube responsible for conveying both urine and semen.

Prostate growth is a natural part of the aging process. Typically, in a man's 40s, the prostate grows from its original walnut size to that of an apricot. By the time a man reaches his 60s, it may enlarge further to the size of a lemon. An enlarged prostate can exert pressure on the urethra, leading to difficulty in urination. Symptoms may include difficulty in initiating urination, weak urine flow, dribbling urine, a feeling of incomplete bladder emptying, or discomfort and pain in the area. There are two main conditions to look out for regarding prostate health: Prostatitis (which refers to inflammation of the prostate, often caused by an infection) and Prostate Cancer. While prostate cancer is a common form of cancer in men, with only skin cancer surpassing it, only 1 in 41 men die from it. Some men may opt to delay treatment through watchful waiting.

How Do We Address Prostate Health?

A digital rectal exam can be conducted by your family doctor to examine the size, shape, and firmness of your prostate gland. During this procedure, a gloved finger is inserted into the rectum to check for any unusual lumps.

Prostatic massage is another option that some men have found to be helpful for sexual health issues such as erectile dysfunction (ED). In fact, prior to the availability of prescription pills, prostatic massage was the main treatment for ED. This technique involves clearing the prostatic duct, interrupting infections and removing blocked fluids.

How Do You Conduct a Prostatic Massage at Home?

There are three primary approaches to prostatic massage: 1) using your own fingers, 2) using your partner's fingers, or 3) utilizing sex toys or tools. Various companies offer toys and tools specifically designed for prostatic massage, such as Honeykissme. The advantage of using a toy or tool is that it is tailored to your anatomical structure, providing a more precise and comfortable experience. Additionally, many anal toys come equipped with a base or a loop to prevent them from getting trapped inside the rectum, which can result in an emergency situation.

Before beginning the prostatic massage, it's recommended to have a bowel movement and clean the external and internal areas. If using your or your partner's fingers, ensure that the nails are short and clean. Using gloves can make cleanup easier. Applying lubricant can make the experience more comfortable. 

Assume a comfortable position such as the "doggie style" with your rear in the air and chest resting on the bed or floor, or the fetal position on your side. Take deep, slow breaths to relax the body. Hold onto the base or handle of the toy and gently insert the prostate massager about 4-5 inches into your rectum, with the pointed end towards your belly button to ensure it hits the prostate gland. When you locate the spot, it may cause arousal or an erection. Slowly pull the toy out 2-3 inches before sliding it back in. Repeat this process for 5-10 rounds, gradually increasing pressure as desired. For the last few rounds, insert the toy and apply pressure for approximately 10 seconds. Relax and exhale during the process. Repeat this process once or twice more to complete the exercise. Take it slowly and continue breathing to relax the body's muscles, making it easier for insertion.

If you want to incorporate prostatic massage into your sexual activity, you can proceed as usual until ejaculation. A slight burning sensation during ejaculation may be caused by the contents of the fluid provided by the prostate. However, if this sensation persists, it could indicate an infection, so it's important to visit your doctor for evaluation.

Another option is an external prostate massage, which involves applying pressure to the perineum (the skin between your anus and your testicles) or gently rubbing and pressing on the pelvic area between your pubic bone and belly button. While this method may not be as direct or effective as the internal massage described above, it may help to increase blood flow to that area.

Whichever way you do a prostatic massage, whether it’s on your own or with the help of a professional, you could be reaping the health benefits…not only that, but it also feels rather pleasurable. Try it out! The more you talk about it and practice it, the more comfortable you will become with it, which is best for you and your partner(s).