How to Practice Tantric Masturbation for Self-Love: 6 Steps

Many people are familiar with the concept of Tantric sex, which involves engaging in sexual activity with heightened awareness of oneself and one's partner. Tantric practices have their roots in ancient spiritual traditions, including Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism, dating back several millennia. While Tantra encompasses a wide range of spiritual practices, it is most commonly associated in the Western world with a mindful and sacred approach to sex and sexual pleasure.

What is Tantric masturbation?

The crowning principles of tantric masturbation are slow, delicious, meaningful and mindful self-pleasure and self-care. What could be more key to healing in these trying times? Tantric masturbation, like Tantric sex, emphasizes the importance of enjoying the journey rather than focusing on the end goal. It is a form of meditation that requires openness to getting to know oneself on a deeper level. Unlike conventional masturbation, climaxing is not the objective. Instead, the goal is to explore and build up energy. If orgasm is achieved, it is likely to be more intense than usual. However, it is important to approach this practice without expectation and to focus on savoring every moment. Whether you orgasm today or after several attempts is inconsequential, as exploration is the ultimate purpose.

Here's how to explore tantric masturbation:

Clarifying Your Intentions

Tantra emphasizes the importance of setting intentions rather than achieving goals. It's essential to consider what you want to gain from the experience, while also remaining open to new possibilities. Your intentions should align with your needs and desires, whether it's finding new ways to arouse yourself, feeling more confident about self-pleasure, reducing stress, or shedding shame. However, it's important to remember that there's no pressure to achieve any specific outcome. The focus is on the journey of exploration and self-discovery. 

Set the stage

To fully immerse yourself in the experience of tantric masturbation, it's important to create a comfortable and relaxing environment. Just as you would prepare a romantic setting for a partner, prepare a space that promotes calm and tranquility. Add soft pillows, light candles or incense, and play music that inspires sensuality and serenity. Indulge in the sensory experience and treat yourself with the same care and attention you would give to a lover. By doing so, you'll deepen your connection to the practice of self-love and exploration.

Make time…for yourself

If you're used to quick "maintenance masturbation," try to set aside more time for yourself to fully commit to a lengthier exploration of Tantric masturbation. Rushing through the process defeats the purpose of this mindful practice. Take your time and allow the energy to build naturally as you explore your body at your own pace. Being fully present in the moment and in your body is key to the Tantric experience and can be a revelation for those used to being in their heads. Your favorite sex doll shop. Remember that the journey is the goal, and don't put pressure on yourself to reach a specific outcome. 


There are no strict guidelines for breathing during tantric masturbation, but it's recommended to breathe consciously, deeply, and fully. Honeykissme suggests starting with "box breathing," which involves inhaling for four counts, holding for four counts, exhaling for four counts, and holding for four counts. If counting becomes a distraction, simply let it go. Another option is to take long, even breaths while focusing on the sensations created by deep breathing. Cyclical belly breathing is also helpful: inhale and let your stomach inflate, exhale while drawing your navel towards your spine, and repeat. Ultimately, the best approach is to find what works best for you.

Touch yourself deeply

The first guideline: don’t begin immediately with your poom-poom. Instead, explore your other erogenous zones–maybe your ears, breasts, elbow creases, or thighs. You can also try contracting your pelvic floor muscles during exhalation while continuing with your cyclical breathing. Massaging yourself is a great way to start. Once you're ready, you can move to your genital area and experiment with your arousal. Tease yourself and take your time. If you get close to orgasm, try slowing down and taking a break. The goal is to build it up and draw it out, making it slow and sensual. Sex toys are allowed as long as they don’t create a distraction!

Experience your pleasure

Let go of any inhibitions and allow yourself to make sounds and move as you please. If you feel like crying or laughing, let it out. And when you're ready, you may choose to release and allow yourself to climax. Remember to keep breathing even when you feel an orgasm coming. It's common to hold your breath or breathe shallowly, but it's important to keep taking deep, full breaths.

Regardless of whether you reach orgasm or not, it's important to not rush through your Tantric masturbation experience. Don't treat it like a one-night stand; show yourself some love and be a courteous lover to your own body. Take some time to cuddle yourself, bask in the afterglow, and let the experience sink in. Remember that Tantric masturbation can be a powerful tool for personal transformation, especially in how you relate to yourself. So, make the most of it and savor the experience.